“Fuck this! Seriously… fuck it, it’s all rigged!”, an enraged Lionel Messi told the African Football Expert. Paris Plot The Argentine was caught storming out of the Paris ceremony visibly irate, after seeing Karim Benzema crowned Worlds best Footballer. “Isn’t it sooo convenient that a Frenchmen wins in Paris!?”, the seven time Ballon d’Or winner […]
Klopp Sacked after 4-0 drubbing
Liverpool chairman Tom Werner has wasted no time ousting iconic manager Jurgen Klopp. This comes after Liverpool succumbed to a 4-0 hammering to arch rivals Manchester United in a preseason friendly in Bangkok. Me love you long time but… “I don’t give a ladyboy’s ass if it is preseason!”, Tom Werner told the African Football […]
Keane admits to booing Harry Maguire
“Alright, alright you got me, so fooking what, he is shite!”, a nonchalant Roy Keane told the African Football Expert Started the Fire “I know this was none of my business being at England and Ivory Coast, I just love United…”, the Manchester United legend added. “I just saw his bucket-heed and the booing erupted […]
Italy boycotts 2022 World Cup in Qatar
“Cazzo! I am seeing a lot of fans giving us shit for not qualifying?”, a perturbed Roberto Mancini told the African Football Expert after his Italian side failed to qualify for the World Cup. Unforgivable “How can they say this is unforgivable, when there are people dying?” “These people need to take a long hard […]
10 things I hate about you
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has broken his silence after the 5-0 thrashing of his Manchester United to team. The Manchester United manager has surprisingly lashed out at the Liverpool hattrick hero Mohammed Salah. 10 things “Ok not easy to admit this but I have been mourning a lot these past few days in my treble underwear..”, […]
“We are just old friends” – Pep
Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola has denied all transfer links to Newcastle United. This comes after the Premiere League team was acquired by the Saudi investment group, making Newcastle United one of the world’s richest clubs. Huge Fan Pep told the African Football expert that Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman and him are just friends. […]
Manchester United in talks with Rugby Lock Eben Etzebeth
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has slammed the new “rough” interpretation of Premier League rules. This comes after a contentious 1-1 draw against Southampton. The Red Devils feel Southampton’s goal should not have stood due to a rough body-check moments before, on playmaker Bruno Fernandes. Outraged Ole “This is not rugby for fuck sakes?! Diving maybe! But […]
Kane Hints at Number 10 Shirt or No Deal
Spurs striker Harry Kane has insisted Pep Guardiola gift him the number 10 jersey or he will not sign for Manchester City. The England international has been strongly linked with a move to City this transfer window. Gentleman’s Agreement “I’ve thrown down the gauntlet for the gaffer”, Harry told the African Football Expert. “We spat […]
Football’s Coming Rome
The sun has officially set on the UEFA Euro Cup. A gutted and heartbroken England can only watch on and see the mighty Italians lift the cup. The Three Lions failed to win the Euro Cup on home soil against a well oiled Azzuri team. Suffering a 3-2 penalty shoot-out defeat, after a cagey 1-1 […]
Queen mans VAR booth for Euro Final amidst Chiellini Mind Games
The Queen of England has kindly offered her assistance at Wembley for the final of the Euro Cup. Gareth Southgate’s England team will square off against an impressive Italian side to try capture their first title since 1966. VAR Booth “We are a bit short staffed here at Wembley because of COVID” the Queen told […]