Gunnersaurus Blows Annual Salary at Casino

The Arsenal team’s mascot, Gunnersaurus, has been in the news a lot lately. A few days ago “Gunny” was giving his marching orders by Arsenal after 27 years of service. Saddened by the news, Mesut Ozil, a player and cult hero at the club offered to pay the big green guy’s wages for a year.

While things were looking good again for the beloved dinosaur, the last 48 hours have gone pear-shaped. A Jack Daniel’d liquored up Gunnersaurus was seen going “all-in” with his newly aquired salary in a high-roller game of Texas Hold ’em Poker at The Sportsman Casino.

Gunnersaurus Goes All In

With heavy rings under his eyes and what appeared to be empty pockets, we were able to intercept Gunnersaurus a few blocks from the casino, “*Hickkk!!* Whhaaatsish thisss… sha God damn Amatuersssh shoour! Who callshh with five… five shixxx off shhuit anywaysshh! Rook*Hickkk!!**ee.. I had pockeshh Kingshhh, did you scheee? Did you sheeeee ma Kingshhh… Thought sha wash invchable…?”

Stumbling around a bit and fat thumbing his phone he told the African Football Expert, “Immma see Wenger now… my Ubershh will be here shooon, seee you again! Thankssh for visshiting the Emiratesshh! Gunnny Out!”

Klopp quick to tweet

Jurgen Klopp the Liverpool manager, has taken advantage of the news and another stab at Roy Keane tweeting, “Well! If Arsenal want another irrelevant Slopposaurus drunk for-a-mascot, give Roy a call!”


“Immma see Wenger now… my Ubershh will be here shooon, seee you again, thankssh for visshiting the Emiratesshh” – Gunnersaurus