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Messi slams Ballon d’Or after Benzema win

Posted on October 20, 2022October 21, 2022

“Fuck this! Seriously… fuck it, it’s all rigged!”, an enraged Lionel Messi told the African Football Expert. Paris Plot The Argentine was caught storming out of the Paris ceremony visibly irate, after seeing Karim Benzema crowned Worlds best Footballer. “Isn’t it sooo convenient that a Frenchmen wins in Paris!?”, the seven time Ballon d’Or winner […]

  • GOAT / Primadonna / Rivals
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VAR Strangely Offline During End of Portugal Serbia Match

Posted on March 29, 2021May 17, 2021

Portuguese forward Cristiano Ronaldo thought he had scored a last minute winner in a World Cup Qualifier against Serbia. Despite the ball crossing the line the referee seems to think the ball was safely cleared by the Serbian defence. Bang out of Order! Cristiano stormed off the pitch in protest, throwing the captains armband to […]

  • Cult Hero / Dream Come True / GOAT
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Pele recollects Goals Scored with Grapefruits and Socks

Posted on March 4, 2021March 4, 2021

“Easily 100 goals with Grapefruits! And probably 60ish with socks… We need to put the record straight!”, Pele told the African Football Expert. Pele, arguably the greatest footballer of all time has come forward with more goals to add to his already impressive tally of a staggering 757 all time professional career goals. Bauru Recollection […]

  • Cult Hero / GOAT
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Ronaldo Gets New CR-900 Upgrade during Quarantine

Posted on October 22, 2020October 22, 2020

Cristiano Ronaldo’s creators have taken the opportunity to upgrade the Juventus star during a mandatory quarantine. Dieter von Rossbach, chief creator and engineer at Skynet has told the African Football Expert, “If you think CR9 was good, you all about to shit your panties!” CR-7 Modest Beginnings Dieter took us down memory lane and explained […]

  • Cult Hero / GOAT
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Zidane Wakes up Enlightened from Coma

Zidane Wakes up Enlightened from Coma

  • Cult Hero / Qatar World Cup 2022
Cristiano Ronaldo Announces Moroccan Citizenship

Cristiano Ronaldo Announces Moroccan Citizenship

  • Qatar World Cup 2022
Southgate mailed Voodoo Doll ahead of Senegal Match

Southgate mailed Voodoo Doll ahead of Senegal Match

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  • Southgate mailed Voodoo Doll ahead of Senegal Match
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