French football legend Zinedine Zidane has pulled out of a coma, amidst the 2022 Qatar FIFA World Cup Final. The Frenchman had suffered a ball smashed into his face by Mbappe during a semi-final warm up session. Maradona Zidane shared his near death experience with the African Football Expert. “I saw Maradona!”, Zidane smiled, “he […]
Cristiano Ronaldo Announces Moroccan Citizenship
Cristiano Ronaldo has pushed through his new citizenship with Moroccan authorities, now claiming he was born in Casablanca, Morroco. Dangerous “You see my parents had to flee Casablanca due to crime”, Ronaldo told the African Football Expert, “I was only two months at the time… check the paper work, it says so, it says I […]
Southgate mailed Voodoo Doll ahead of Senegal Match
England faceoff against Senegal later today in the Qatar FIFA World Cup. The England Manager Gareth Southgate is feeling nervous ahead of the clash and is feeling uncertain about a recent Voodoo doll prank. Special Delivery “So I was about to have my warm milk and tuck myself in last night, when there was a […]
The Truth behind the Cupcake Saga – Hazard Tells All
Four years ago the Belgian Football team was coined the Golden Generation of Football, a talented team tipped to win the FIFA World Cup in Russia. They fell short and finished 3rd. Fast forward to Qatar 2022, some describe them as slow, chubby, even grumpy old men. Unfortunately for Belgium, the hopes of lifting the […]
Suarez named as Goalkeeper against Ghana
Manager Óscar Tabárez has coyly named Luis Suarez, Uruguay’s goalkeeper ahead of the Ghana match. The Uruguay Sky Blues are in need of a win to advance to the knock out stages of the FIFA World Cup. Diablo “Nothing like a bit of mind games just before kick off, they already think he [Suarez] is […]
“It’s just a bit puffy, I’m ready to play!”
Brazilian star Neymar has ignored all doctor orders and let the World know he is ready to play in the FIFA World Cup. Puffy “It’s just a bit puffy, it’s more painful than it looks really…”, Neymar told the African football Expert, while his sister poked his foot to demonstrate. “Easy… easy Rafa!”, Neymar winced, […]
“What’s with the Spanish Inquisition?” – Luis Enrique
Japan have earned themselves a spot in the second round of the FIFA 2022 World Cup after a kamikaze-style win over Spain. The loss means heart break for the German team, while Japan and Spain progress to the knock out stages. Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition “Jesus! What is with the all the questioning and […]
“He wasn’t answering his insta so we went to his house” – Tomas Muller
As the Champions League group stage is nearing an end, Barcelona are in desperate need for a win. The win will give the Catalonians hope of staying in the most prestigious competition in Europe. One problem! The team standing in the way is the German Football Giant, Bayern Munich. Grumpy Ex Tomas Muller took to […]
I am Gunning for You!
Aston Villa have appointed Unai Emery as manager following the surprising sacking of Steven Gerrard. I’m Back Bitch! “I want the world to know I am back for one reason and one reason only!”, Emery told the African Football Expert. “It is my soul mission to make sure Arsenal do not win the league!”, laughed […]
“To be honest I was bored out of my skull” – Steven Gerrard
Aston Villa have sacked Steven Gerrard following a humiliating 3-0 defeat at Fulham. Bored “I just want to say I am sorry to the fans, well.. kind of”, yawned Stevie G while wiping his eyes, “It’s nothing personal, I just felt the club doesnt have enough drama or incentive for me” “You see, relegation battles […]