“In the football universe, where offside rules meet off-season rules, Manchester United’s European dreams are taking a detour—straight through the beach resorts of Nice. Let’s dive into the drama that’s unfolding faster than a beach umbrella on a windy day.” Sir Jim’s Juggle: The African Football Expert: “Sir Jim, with the waves of UEFA’s ruling […]
I am Gunning for You!
Aston Villa have appointed Unai Emery as manager following the surprising sacking of Steven Gerrard. I’m Back Bitch! “I want the world to know I am back for one reason and one reason only!”, Emery told the African Football Expert. “It is my soul mission to make sure Arsenal do not win the league!”, laughed […]
Messi slams Ballon d’Or after Benzema win
“Fuck this! Seriously… fuck it, it’s all rigged!”, an enraged Lionel Messi told the African Football Expert. Paris Plot The Argentine was caught storming out of the Paris ceremony visibly irate, after seeing Karim Benzema crowned Worlds best Footballer. “Isn’t it sooo convenient that a Frenchmen wins in Paris!?”, the seven time Ballon d’Or winner […]
“It’s Time for me to Bale” – Kane
“It’s a very sad time for everyone involved… no one likes to be a third wheel, so we ripped off the band aid. I wish Son all the best”, Kane told the African Football Expert. Harry Kane, Tottenham Hotspurs’ top striker has called it quits with his strike partner Son Heung Min, stating he prefers […]
Roy Keane labelled a Slopposaurus
Things got pretty heated post match on Monday night, when Roy Keane suggested the Liverpool team were incredible to beat Arsenal but also quite sloppy. The Liverpool manager, Jurgen Klopp was patched into the studio discussion and things escalated rather quickly. The African Football Expert was able to get the transcript of the legendary ex-Manchester […]