“To be honest I was bored out of my skull” – Steven Gerrard

Aston Villa have sacked Steven Gerrard following a humiliating 3-0 defeat at Fulham.


“I just want to say I am sorry to the fans, well.. kind of”, yawned Stevie G while wiping his eyes, “It’s nothing personal, I just felt the club doesnt have enough drama or incentive for me”

“You see, relegation battles get me hard, or iconic moments like stopping Celtic winning a 10th time!”

“When I slipped up with Liverpool, I left a legacy”

“It was then I realized, its about leaving stories at the end of the day, Aston Villa fannying about in the lower mid table?”, scoffed Gerrard.

“No one remembers that shit!”, the Liverpool legend concluded.

Team Outraged

“The geezer has not joined us at training for about a month now, I am not surprised” – Ashley Young

“In the end he was all about that silly World Cup sticker book” – Douglas Luiz

“The man was obsessed with Panini stickers, we would know he was at the stadium when we heard the trucks backing up full of boxes of Panini” –  Lucas Dinge