Angry

Chelsea Choke at FA Cup

“Mark my words they will win nothing this season! Better yet they will finish 5th under the mighty Tuchel”, former Chelsea Manager Frank Lampard explains. Chelsea suffered a 1-0 FA Cup final defeat to Brendan Rogers’ Leicester City at Wembley. Tuchel this and Tuchel that “Now everyone can see! He is a fraud just like […]

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Haha

“It’s like the Champions League, but with capes” – Kane

Spurs striker, Harry Kane has not hidden his excitement on the introduction of the European Super League. The Premier Leagues’ leading goal scorer and playmaker has insisted this new league will bring the best out of him. Super Duper “I can’t fucking wait mate!”, Harry told the African Football Expert, “I have my longer boots, […]

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Virgil van Dijk Offers his Good Knee for Joe Gomez Surgery

Liverpool defender Joe Gomez will have to undergo knee surgery after things went pear shaped during an England training session. Virgil van Dijk, his fellow Liverpool center-back, suffered a similar fate a few weeks ago to a blatant life ending tackle from their Merseyside rivals. “I Offer Myself as Tribute” “I offer myself as tribute”, […]

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