Japan have earned themselves a spot in the second round of the FIFA 2022 World Cup after a kamikaze-style win over Spain. The loss means heart break for the German team, while Japan and Spain progress to the knock out stages. Nobody expects the Spanish inquisition “Jesus! What is with the all the questioning and […]
“He wasn’t answering his insta so we went to his house” – Tomas Muller
As the Champions League group stage is nearing an end, Barcelona are in desperate need for a win. The win will give the Catalonians hope of staying in the most prestigious competition in Europe. One problem! The team standing in the way is the German Football Giant, Bayern Munich. Grumpy Ex Tomas Muller took to […]
I am Gunning for You!
Aston Villa have appointed Unai Emery as manager following the surprising sacking of Steven Gerrard. I’m Back Bitch! “I want the world to know I am back for one reason and one reason only!”, Emery told the African Football Expert. “It is my soul mission to make sure Arsenal do not win the league!”, laughed […]
“To be honest I was bored out of my skull” – Steven Gerrard
Aston Villa have sacked Steven Gerrard following a humiliating 3-0 defeat at Fulham. Bored “I just want to say I am sorry to the fans, well.. kind of”, yawned Stevie G while wiping his eyes, “It’s nothing personal, I just felt the club doesnt have enough drama or incentive for me” “You see, relegation battles […]
Messi slams Ballon d’Or after Benzema win
“Fuck this! Seriously… fuck it, it’s all rigged!”, an enraged Lionel Messi told the African Football Expert. Paris Plot The Argentine was caught storming out of the Paris ceremony visibly irate, after seeing Karim Benzema crowned Worlds best Footballer. “Isn’t it sooo convenient that a Frenchmen wins in Paris!?”, the seven time Ballon d’Or winner […]
Klopp Sacked after 4-0 drubbing
Liverpool chairman Tom Werner has wasted no time ousting iconic manager Jurgen Klopp. This comes after Liverpool succumbed to a 4-0 hammering to arch rivals Manchester United in a preseason friendly in Bangkok. Me love you long time but… “I don’t give a ladyboy’s ass if it is preseason!”, Tom Werner told the African Football […]
Keane admits to booing Harry Maguire
“Alright, alright you got me, so fooking what, he is shite!”, a nonchalant Roy Keane told the African Football Expert Started the Fire “I know this was none of my business being at England and Ivory Coast, I just love United…”, the Manchester United legend added. “I just saw his bucket-heed and the booing erupted […]
Italy boycotts 2022 World Cup in Qatar
“Cazzo! I am seeing a lot of fans giving us shit for not qualifying?”, a perturbed Roberto Mancini told the African Football Expert after his Italian side failed to qualify for the World Cup. Unforgivable “How can they say this is unforgivable, when there are people dying?” “These people need to take a long hard […]
10 things I hate about you
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has broken his silence after the 5-0 thrashing of his Manchester United to team. The Manchester United manager has surprisingly lashed out at the Liverpool hattrick hero Mohammed Salah. 10 things “Ok not easy to admit this but I have been mourning a lot these past few days in my treble underwear..”, […]
“We are just old friends” – Pep
Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola has denied all transfer links to Newcastle United. This comes after the Premiere League team was acquired by the Saudi investment group, making Newcastle United one of the world’s richest clubs. Huge Fan Pep told the African Football expert that Saudi Prince Mohammed bin Salman and him are just friends. […]