Roman Abramovich’s Chelsea has filed a request to withdraw from the European Super League, this comes shortly after hoards of fans gathered at Stamford Bridge to protest against the break away league. No Take Backs Chairman of the Super League, Florentino Perez told the African Football Expert, “Unfortunately for Chelsea there are no take backs! […]
Portuguese forward Cristiano Ronaldo thought he had scored a last minute winner in a World Cup Qualifier against Serbia. Despite the ball crossing the line the referee seems to think the ball was safely cleared by the Serbian defence. Bang out of Order! Cristiano stormed off the pitch in protest, throwing the captains armband to […]
“It is all about the followers!” a lippy Solkjaer told the African Football Expert after Manchester United shock exit of the FA Cup. “I mean sure it’s nice to win a trophy now and again, but in these times our Instagram follower count is way more important than some smelly tin cups!” I would double […]
“It’s a very sad time for everyone involved… no one likes to be a third wheel, so we ripped off the band aid. I wish Son all the best”, Kane told the African Football Expert. Harry Kane, Tottenham Hotspurs’ top striker has called it quits with his strike partner Son Heung Min, stating he prefers […]
“Easily 100 goals with Grapefruits! And probably 60ish with socks… We need to put the record straight!”, Pele told the African Football Expert. Pele, arguably the greatest footballer of all time has come forward with more goals to add to his already impressive tally of a staggering 757 all time professional career goals. Bauru Recollection […]
The former Liverpool defender and now Sky pundit is calling for an intervention after Liverpool’s loss to Leicester city. The lion share of blame of the 3-1 loss to the Foxes has fallen mostly on the shoulders of Liverpool goalkeeper Allison Becker. “I think I talk for everyone when I say da-actual-fuq is this lad […]
“Let’s stop fart-arseing about and just call it a draw!” a lofty Ole Gunnar Solskjaer told the African Football Expert, extending out an offer to arch rivals Manchester City. Nine Nil The offer comes off the back of Manchester United administering 9-0 drumming of a now shell shocked Southampton team. “We showed how we can […]
A disheartened Romelu Lukaku is not happy after losing his temper with Zlatan Ibrahimovic during Inter’s Coppa Italia quarter-final against AC Milan. Fight to the Death “He said somethings, I said somethings, I am tired of smack talk, let’s settle this like gentlemen!” Lukaku told the African Football Expert. “We duel! None of this round […]
Odion Ighalo has announced his departure from Manchester United. The Nigerian Prince and veteran striker quickly became a cult hero at the club and has mentioned although it is sad to leave he must get back to his perfume business, Sex Panther. It smells like Big foot’s dick? “Yes! There are a lot of funny […]
Arsenal’s marquee signing during the summer transfer window, Thomas Partey has come under scrutiny for running off the pitch in the middle of the frantic match against bitter rivals Tottenham Hotspur. Partey ran off the pitch, and sprinted down the tunnel, and out of the stadium. He was last seen running up the M6, heading […]
