Shaw-shank Redemption

Euro Cup star and England full-back Luke Shaw has broken free from Jose Mourinho’s Mind Penitentiary.

His freedom comes after stellar back to back performances in the Euro Cup, where England stand a chance to reach the final if they over come Denmark this evening.


It is no secret Jose Mourniho is not a fan of Luke Shaw, during his stay at Manchester United, he called the 25 year-old chubby, lazy and been rumored to tie his shoelaces together for shit’s and giggles.

“Everyone loves seeing people fall, especially fat people”, and unapologetic Jose told the African Football Expert.

“Sure he is doing well in the Euro Cup and if they make the final…great, but what is the incentive you have to ask? Is it McDonalds? Baby Back Ribs? Chocolates? Me? Probably all of these.”

Rent Free

“I dont give a toss what he thinks”, Luke told the African Football Expert, “I have been living in his head rent free for 3 years!”

“I have dug tunnels in his mind and taken multiple slashes up against the inner walls of his noggin, all while frolicking around naked!”

“I find it fucken hilarious that he is so infatuated with me!”

“Time to move on from this shithouse though, smells of piss and I don’t need to prove anything any more.”

“Well most things, I still have to show my wife receipts when I go out with John Terry and the lads, she says Terrence is a bad influence.”