Shockwaves were felt throughout Manchester on Thursday evening when Aymeric Laporte was sent packing and forced to leave England with immediate affect. This all came about due to the Manchester City defender jokingly changing his name on Twitter. I’m Eric Laporte A dejected Laporte told the African Football Expert, “It was just a joke really… […]
Jose Admits Toilet Paper Crisis at Spurs
The Spurs midfielder, Eric Dier, ran off the pitch during Tuesday night’s 4th round Carabao Cup match against Chelsea in desperate need of the toilet. He was followed briskly by a furious Jose Mourinho. Mourinho on how things should roll “I couldn’t believe it!” Jose told the African Football Expert, “He knows very fucking well […]
Roy Keane labelled a Slopposaurus
Things got pretty heated post match on Monday night, when Roy Keane suggested the Liverpool team were incredible to beat Arsenal but also quite sloppy. The Liverpool manager, Jurgen Klopp was patched into the studio discussion and things escalated rather quickly. The African Football Expert was able to get the transcript of the legendary ex-Manchester […]
Klopp surrenders Premier League Title to Rodgers
Defending Premier League Champions, Liverpool manager, Jurgen Klopp has shocked the world by selflessly handing the Premier League trophy over to Leicester City manager Brendan Rodgers. This comes after Rodgers’ side smashed Manchester City in their own back yard 5-2 on Sunday. Klopp’s Admiration “Brendan! Whoa! What a fantastic display by him and his team, […]
Ole leaves Baby Doll in Brighton Locker Room
The Manchester United manager has been accused of leaving a rather creepy looking baby doll in the Brighton Team locker room. The red devils managed to snatch 3 points from the first premier league game this weekend. A stubborn and resolute Brighton team put up a valiant fight coming close to taking points themselves. Brighton […]
Zlatan Tests Positive for Benjamin Button Disease
The legendary Zlatan Ibrahimović of AC Milan has tested positive for Benjamin Button Disease. A rare and mysterious disease that causes its host to age backwards. Zlatan Style Zlatan aged 38, told the African Expert, “I can’t help but laugh at how young I feel each day! So many footballers can only fantasize to play […]
Mendy Out for 3 Months
Chelsea FC has secured a 22 million pound deal for the services of the Rennes goalkeeper Edouard Mendy. Unfortunately shortly after the Senegalese star put pen to paper he suffered a freak hand accident rendering him out for the next 3 months. Lampard Pissed The African Football Expert caught up with the Chelsea manager who […]
Shave or Wave Good Bye
Dele Ali has come under serious fire this week, after the Spurs boss, Jose Mourinho has insisted he shaves his moustache and focus on football again. Reinvention Jose told the African Football Expert, “The thing looks like a small baby dead mouse… he is trying to re-invent himself, but this is not the way. Personally, […]
Suarez fails driving test
The unsettled Barcelona forward has seen better days. Wanting away from the Nou Camp, sources have revealed Suarez was not allowed in Italy after being accused of cheating on an immigration test. It seems things went from bad to worse when the Uruguayan striker tried to renew his driving license this week and failed. While […]
Man City crash to 13th place
Pep will face a stiff board meeting this week to discuss his life with the club after Manchester City’s poor start of the season. Even the likes of Leicester City, Everton and Arsenal have all pushed 6 points ahead of the football juggernaut. Pep worried for job and life Manchester City’s start to the season […]