Shave or Wave Good Bye

Dele Ali has come under serious fire this week, after the Spurs boss, Jose Mourinho has insisted he shaves his moustache and focus on football again.


Jose told the African Football Expert, “The thing looks like a small baby dead mouse… he is trying to re-invent himself, but this is not the way. Personally, I think he should have gone for mutton chops, then maybe I think this is intimidating and we can field him against players like Timo”.

The legendary manager then added, “I do feel for the kid, we have Bale coming in and Son hit 4 goals last weekend, Son has started growing a moustache too, he has baby skin, so I hope he doesn’t grow a good one and crush Dele’s morale all together. But this is football, anything can happen.”

Havin’ a Laugh

We were able to reach out to the Spurs midfielder, “Oh I’m just having a laugh mostly. I think the gaffer is too serious and desperate for a trophy. I have fuck all idea why he came to Spurs then? You can take a horse to the Champions League final, but you cant make him hoof in goals! Ask Harry, it just cant be done”.

On his moustache and possible exit, Dele told the African Football Expert, “I have been growing it since the beginning of COVID, why the hell would I shave it now? He [Jose] can bugger off, what is he going to do? Threaten me with playing time or where I sit on the bench? Jog on mate! Fuck off!”.


“The thing looks like a small baby dead mouse…” – Jose