Mendy Out for 3 Months

Chelsea FC has secured a 22 million pound deal for the services of the Rennes goalkeeper Edouard Mendy.

Unfortunately shortly after the Senegalese star put pen to paper he suffered a freak hand accident rendering him out for the next 3 months.

Lampard Pissed

The African Football Expert caught up with the Chelsea manager who stated, “Crikey! The lad literally just signed with us. It was a pleasant time in the main office with tea, crumpets and signing masses of paperwork. Anyway, I told him to take a break and go run through some goal keeping routines with Big Willy and Kepa.”

Frank Lampard continued to say, “So a few minutes later, I hear a soft knocking on my door like? Tap tap? And sobbing? I go to open it and there he is… Jesus so swollen! His hand looked like a balloon! It’s never nice to see a grown man cry, except John Terry. The poor lad was clutching his hand in agony. I thought he was wearing gloves at first it was that swollen. The doc now says it will take 3 months to 4 months to heal. Why does shit like this always happen to me?”

Big Willy on Kepa

While we couldn’t catch up with either Kepa or Mendy, we managed to talk to the third choice goal keeper Willy Caballero, “The training was strange… I have to say. Kepa had this look in his eye. The look you give when you see something strange on your toothbrush, it was very similar. I have never seen him like this. I didn’t see what happened exactly. But the team was cheering Mendy on a lot.. he was making some fantastic saves. It made me warm and happy.”

Willy concluded, “The next thing I hear a big howl of pain. Like a coyote! It all happened so quickly! Apparently Kepa tripped and stood on his hand during a save. I didn’t see though… I hope Eddy [Mendy] recovers soon. Truth be told, I am happy on the bench. I just like collecting my salary with no pressure. But the boss, he.. he is not happy with Kepa, I am worried he will pick me now. This is off the record right?”


“This is off the record right?” – Big Willy