Shockwaves were felt throughout Manchester on Thursday evening when Aymeric Laporte was sent packing and forced to leave England with immediate affect. This all came about due to the Manchester City defender jokingly changing his name on Twitter.
I’m Eric Laporte
A dejected Laporte told the African Football Expert, “It was just a joke really… some daft twat thought my twitter handle read, I am Eric Laporte.. and not Aymeric Laporte… It was funny at the time so I just winged it to make my fans laugh, things got out of control really quickly after that. One minute you on the shitter tweeting in England, next thing you know you are back at your parents house in Agen baking baguettes.”
More Salt than Pep
Undisclosed sources and Moonbeam claim things got salty shortly after the name change.
Pep Guardiola, unhappy with the change stated, “That crafty lil’ frog! Ok! ok.. he is not so little, he is well over 6 foot!”, the Manchester City manger continued, “Does he think I am blind! First liking all Barcelona’s Instagram posts! Then changing his name! Did he think he would get out of his miserable contract so easy! I mean really… he can barely crack the first team here, how was he going to romance Barce? Jog on mate!”
We caught up with the Manchester City mascot, Moonbeam, to get her take, she had this to say, “I know how Eric feels, I mean Aymeric. Pep definitly has a dark side, I have felt this first hand. Think Darth Maul but better looking!”
Moonbeam concluded, “Anyway… Poor kid had his contract, work visa and KC’s Rib Shack loyalty card all ripped up right in front of him and was taken in Pep’s personal limo to the airport with a first class ticket back to France… Manchester is definitly blue this weekend, in a sad way. We all plan to wear I am Eric armbands come the weekend.”
“Manchester is definitly blue this weekend, in a sad way. We all plan to wear, I am Eric armbands come the weekend.” – Moonbeam