In the wild urban jungles of Walthamstow, where football loyalties run deeper than family ties, a sugary storm brews over a pub’s madcap proposal: immortalizing Harry Kane in chocolate. Not just any chocolate, mind you, but a full-sized, cocoa-infused statue of England’s football darling in the town square. Pub Politics and Chocolate Woes “This isn’t […]
Zidane Wakes up Enlightened from Coma
French football legend Zinedine Zidane has pulled out of a coma, amidst the 2022 Qatar FIFA World Cup Final. The Frenchman had suffered a ball smashed into his face by Mbappe during a semi-final warm up session. Maradona Zidane shared his near death experience with the African Football Expert. “I saw Maradona!”, Zidane smiled, “he […]
“He wasn’t answering his insta so we went to his house” – Tomas Muller
As the Champions League group stage is nearing an end, Barcelona are in desperate need for a win. The win will give the Catalonians hope of staying in the most prestigious competition in Europe. One problem! The team standing in the way is the German Football Giant, Bayern Munich. Grumpy Ex Tomas Muller took to […]
Chelsea Choke at FA Cup
“Mark my words they will win nothing this season! Better yet they will finish 5th under the mighty Tuchel”, former Chelsea Manager Frank Lampard explains. Chelsea suffered a 1-0 FA Cup final defeat to Brendan Rogers’ Leicester City at Wembley. Tuchel this and Tuchel that “Now everyone can see! He is a fraud just like […]
Liam Gallagher dedicates new song Blunderwall to PSG
English song writer Liam Gallagher has never been shy to show his passion for football as well as his love for Manchester City Football Club. The Oasis front man has come under heavy fire after directing some X-rated tweets toward Paris Saint Germain players. Manchester City currently hold a 2-1 advantage over PSG after a […]
“It’s like the Champions League, but with capes” – Kane
Spurs striker, Harry Kane has not hidden his excitement on the introduction of the European Super League. The Premier Leagues’ leading goal scorer and playmaker has insisted this new league will bring the best out of him. Super Duper “I can’t fucking wait mate!”, Harry told the African Football Expert, “I have my longer boots, […]
VAR Strangely Offline During End of Portugal Serbia Match
Portuguese forward Cristiano Ronaldo thought he had scored a last minute winner in a World Cup Qualifier against Serbia. Despite the ball crossing the line the referee seems to think the ball was safely cleared by the Serbian defence. Bang out of Order! Cristiano stormed off the pitch in protest, throwing the captains armband to […]
“It’s Time for me to Bale” – Kane
“It’s a very sad time for everyone involved… no one likes to be a third wheel, so we ripped off the band aid. I wish Son all the best”, Kane told the African Football Expert. Harry Kane, Tottenham Hotspurs’ top striker has called it quits with his strike partner Son Heung Min, stating he prefers […]
Pele recollects Goals Scored with Grapefruits and Socks
“Easily 100 goals with Grapefruits! And probably 60ish with socks… We need to put the record straight!”, Pele told the African Football Expert. Pele, arguably the greatest footballer of all time has come forward with more goals to add to his already impressive tally of a staggering 757 all time professional career goals. Bauru Recollection […]
Carragher calls for Allison Intervention
The former Liverpool defender and now Sky pundit is calling for an intervention after Liverpool’s loss to Leicester city. The lion share of blame of the 3-1 loss to the Foxes has fallen mostly on the shoulders of Liverpool goalkeeper Allison Becker. “I think I talk for everyone when I say da-actual-fuq is this lad […]