Pele recollects Goals Scored with Grapefruits and Socks

“Easily 100 goals with Grapefruits! And probably 60ish with socks… We need to put the record straight!”, Pele told the African Football Expert.

Pele, arguably the greatest footballer of all time has come forward with more goals to add to his already impressive tally of a staggering 757 all time professional career goals.

Bauru Recollection

“I was a young man, and my family was poor”, Pele noted.

“I played in a village called Bauru and the competition was fierce. We use to play with socks stuffed with newspaper or huge grapefruits”, the legend added, “Sometimes I would smash a juicy header! They were simple times.”

CR Pissing Me Off

Ronaldo this! And Cristiano that!! Whip-dee-fucken-cr7-doo! I am tired of hearing of all these so called records he is breaking?”

“It’s really starting to piss me off! I didn’t count all my goals from my Bauru years, it was the 40s and we didn’t think we would get that famous, so no officials took notes. I DID THOUGH!”, a slightly peeved Pele told the African Football Expert.

“I am going to set the record straight with the powers that be, let’s say 888 goals, has a nice ring to it.”

“Sure the Czechs and Bican frauds will complain, but I am done with living a lie!”


“Ronaldo this! And Cristiano that!! Whip-dee-fucken-cr7-doo!” – Pele