“It’s like the Champions League, but with capes” – Kane

Spurs striker, Harry Kane has not hidden his excitement on the introduction of the European Super League.

The Premier Leagues’ leading goal scorer and playmaker has insisted this new league will bring the best out of him.

Super Duper

“I can’t fucking wait mate!”, Harry told the African Football Expert, “I have my longer boots, underpants and cape ready, it’s going to be mental!”

“I am having a professional designer work on my HK emblem for the back of my cape”.

“Imagine running onto the end of a cross from Bale, flying cape and bam! Header! Absolute banger into the back net!”, laughed Kane, “Everybody should be excited for fuck sakes, the best of the best and us Spurs!”

“Don’t ask me how we got in or who gave who a dutch rudder to get us in, we are just over the moon we made the cut!”

World Cup Woes

When asked if he was worried about getting banned or having his chances for the World Cup hurt, Kane erupted into an animated and hysterical laughing fit.

Slapping his knee hard, he snorted, “You having a laugh! England!!?? Win the World Cup? Have you been living under a rock you daft twat!?”