The former Liverpool defender and now Sky pundit is calling for an intervention after Liverpool’s loss to Leicester city. The lion share of blame of the 3-1 loss to the Foxes has fallen mostly on the shoulders of Liverpool goalkeeper Allison Becker. “I think I talk for everyone when I say da-actual-fuq is this lad […]
Ole offers to share Premiership Title with Pep
“Let’s stop fart-arseing about and just call it a draw!” a lofty Ole Gunnar Solskjaer told the African Football Expert, extending out an offer to arch rivals Manchester City. Nine Nil The offer comes off the back of Manchester United administering 9-0 drumming of a now shell shocked Southampton team. “We showed how we can […]
Virgil van Dijk Offers his Good Knee for Joe Gomez Surgery
Liverpool defender Joe Gomez will have to undergo knee surgery after things went pear shaped during an England training session. Virgil van Dijk, his fellow Liverpool center-back, suffered a similar fate a few weeks ago to a blatant life ending tackle from their Merseyside rivals. “I Offer Myself as Tribute” “I offer myself as tribute”, […]
Son called back to Complete Military Training
Tottenham star Son Heung-min has been called back to complete his Military service in South Korea. Son formerly received an exemption allowing him to fast track a 2 year mandatory service after winning gold at the 2018 Asian Games in Indonesia. South Korea, chuffed by this result, allowed Son to complete his training in 3 […]
Ole Highly Concerned over Maguire’s Perfect Fitness
Manchester United manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer has expressed concerns over Harry Maguire’s impeccable fitness levels, saying if he keeps fit, it will cost the Red Devils [Manchester United] dearly this season. Sixes and Sevens Ole told the African Expert, “He is as fit as a fucken fiddle! And it grates me raw! It could land […]
Gunnersaurus Blows Annual Salary at Casino
The Arsenal team’s mascot, Gunnersaurus, has been in the news a lot lately. A few days ago “Gunny” was giving his marching orders by Arsenal after 27 years of service. Saddened by the news, Mesut Ozil, a player and cult hero at the club offered to pay the big green guy’s wages for a year. […]
Klopp surrenders Premier League Title to Rodgers
Defending Premier League Champions, Liverpool manager, Jurgen Klopp has shocked the world by selflessly handing the Premier League trophy over to Leicester City manager Brendan Rodgers. This comes after Rodgers’ side smashed Manchester City in their own back yard 5-2 on Sunday. Klopp’s Admiration “Brendan! Whoa! What a fantastic display by him and his team, […]
Man City crash to 13th place
Pep will face a stiff board meeting this week to discuss his life with the club after Manchester City’s poor start of the season. Even the likes of Leicester City, Everton and Arsenal have all pushed 6 points ahead of the football juggernaut. Pep worried for job and life Manchester City’s start to the season […]
Ancelotti seals Champions League spot
What a crazy ride we have encountered this season so far, Everton sit pretty at the top of the league. A coy Carlo Ancelotti has told the African Football Expert, “This one is in the bag”. Normally a man of few words the Everton manager then went on to say, “A lot of people didn’t […]
Liverpool defence get insoles to scare Werner
Timo Werner was set slightly on tilt after his debut in the English Premier league. The new wide-eyed Chelsea forward was shocked to see how tall and massive the Brighton defence was. Project Insoles It has been reported that Klopp has recently ordered 16 pairs of insoles for the teams boots to beef up the […]