England manager Gareth Southgate has labelled Aston Villa sensation Jack Grealish too good looking for the England team.
This comes after Jack Grealish was left out of the England team against arguably the world’s current best team, Belgium.
Too sexy
“I get this question a lot, why is Jack not in the team nonsense”, Southgate told the African Football Expert, “The problem is, he is way too sexy. His calves alone can make a straight man want to read poetry. Have you seen his calves? Crikey!”
When pressed for more details, “Look! You all seem to forget I was an Aston Villa player myself, and I represented my country many times! You also have no idea how bad it is for team morale when one player gets all the attention.”
Beckham Flashback
With a thousand yard stare, Southgate continued to say, “I had the joy and excruciating pain of playing along side Becks, the lad was sculpted by Aphrodite herself and blessed by the Midas touch.”
Patting down beads of sweat from his mouth and eyebrows with a folded handkerchief, the England manger concluded, “He had the Spice Girls shower him with kisses… all giggling heee heee hee….it was always Becks….. anyway that’s in the past now… bottom line is I am not letting that sort of sexiness creep into the team and affect morale.”
“The problem is, he is way too sexy. His calves alone can make a straight man want to read poetry. Have you seen his calves? Crikey!” – GS
