Aguero to take Etiquette Classes after Vulcan Nerve Pinch

Sergio Aguero has come under the spotlight recently after an incident with a female official.

The Manchester City striker was unhappy with an offside decision and tried to make it known with ill timed Vulcan Nerve Pinch.

Not Related to Incident

Pep Guardiola has told the African Football Expert, “I want him to go to some classes for common decency and etiquette. It’s not related to the incident or anything like that.”

The Manchester City manager continued, “I just want him to relearn how to eat with knives and forks, greet people, wear a suit with proper shoes at fancy galas, that sort of thing. I think with COVID he may have forgot himself a bit, he is into Star Wars or Star Trek, I don’t know the difference? Either way I think he embodies characters too much. We must intervene.”

Vulcan Nerve Pinch Expert

From one expert to another we had the privilege of speaking with Vulcan Nerve Pinch Expert, Jimothy Vonda, who reviewed the pinch, “Ahh yes! I see the pinch was not delivered correctly. Good try though!”

Vulcan Nerve Pinch Expert - Jimothy Vonda
Vulcan Nerve Pinch Expert – Jimothy Vonda

James continued, “For it to work you have to whisper the dewy decimal system into the assailants ear at the very moment you clamp down, not many people know this. That’s the magic sauce! Also it helps more if you are not the target’s peripheral vision. The element of surprise is where you want to be at.”

 

“I just want him to relearn how to eat with knives and forks, greet people, wear a suit with proper shoes at fancy galas, that sort of thing.” – PG