Manchester City’s season has not started off well, the English juggernaut has failed to push into the top 10, let alone the top 3.
Sticky Staka
Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola has been nervously chipper about the recent form and told the African Football Expert, “We use to play tiki-taka football, it was so sexy! These days it feels like sticky staka, it’s like my players are stuck in the mud? And it’s stinky!”
Pep continued, “Listen, the mojo is off!”
“I am trying to bring sexy back, I play Justin Timberlake on my old boom box at practice… fuck all seems to be working, not even Marvin Gaye’s… sexual healing. I have lost my players… they just look at me blankly, like a bunch of nimwits…”
Barcelona Bound?
With things not looking too good for Mr. Guardiola, rumors of his old club taking him back seem likely.
Pep told the African Football Expert, “Nah! Never go back to an ex. I look forward and conquer new conquests… maybe Juve or PSG. The key is to follow the fat bank rolls, I love to spend big and win big!”
“Life is all about being sexy and having money…shit tons of it!”, concluded Pep, “When it goes pear-shaped, just move to the next loaded sugar daddy and bring sexy tiki taka baka.”
“… it’s like my players are stuck in the mud? And it’s stinky!” – PG
