“It’s been a long week, I have cried a lot… most of the time the same cry”, Suarez told the African Football Expert.
Lokomotiv Moscow Mule
Last week Atletico Madrid drew one-one to a stubborn Lokomotiv Moscow in the Champions League. A match where Luis Suarez was shown a yellow card for trying to get a sneak a peak at the VAR monitor involving a hand ball decision.
Suarez has since been calling everyone he knows, claiming he is stuck in a Ground Hogs Day like repetitive dream, due to viewing the VAR monitor. We were lucky enough to get a call from the infamous Uruguayan and ask him what he saw.
“What I see is myself, every time… it freaks me out”, Suarez continued on a crackling phone.
“You know when you are at the barber shop and they have two mirrors on opposite walls and you see yourself for days, and the last one looks different! I got the goose pimples down my neck.”
“Anyways as you know we draw the game… later I will go to a cold hole-in-the wall bar here in Moscow and tell my friends about it, every fucking time they laugh! And say the same shit! Tell me to chug my Moscow mule!”
“… they just call it a mule here though…” Suarez explained.
Blacking Out
“I keep resetting, every night when it is 1:47 AM I black out… I close my eyes for a second and bam! I wake up on the bus towards Moscow again?”
“I check my Apple watch, it is Tuesday three of November… just before the match”, the Uruguayan continued.
“I go play and everything is the same, each time I am drawn to the VAR screen like a moth to flame… and again I find myself at the shitty bar with my shitty team mates… I miss Barce…”
“Please I am calling you to see if you can ask a Sangoma in Africa if they have heard of a spell like this, I will do anything to get out of here! Oh fuck! It’s one-forty-se….”
