Project Big Picture may change the face of football as we know it if some proposals are signed off.
The big six Arsenal, Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City, Manchester United and Tottenham have all called the plans a crock of shit.
Project Big Picture Proposals
With all the confusion in the air and what it actually means, we caught up with Greg Clarke from the Football Association for the key takeaways.
Premier League to reduce from 20 to 18 Clubs
Every season will start with 20 clubs, like always, however, the two teams to suffer the heaviest losses will be relegated, in the event of multiple teams suffering the same loss, Bruno Fernandes will take a penalty kick for each team, until he misses.
All of Bruno’s penalty goals will be tallied towards his season total.
The Football Association thinks with this change, viewers will be glued to their screens, stating that a season should be like life and not feel like a marathon, sometimes shit happens and sometimes Bruno needs to take a shit on a teams’ dream with a penalty.
5 Minute Power Plays for each team
The Football association are also pushing for 5 minute power plays for each team. During any time in the match a captain may choose to initiate a power play.
Goals scored will count double for the team using the power play.
Greg Clarke told the African Football Expert, “We need to spice things up! I was playing Fifa with my kid the other night, and I saw this idea, it’s brilliant! It will also keep top strikers like Harry Kane happy, we all know he will stop at nothing to break Shearer’s record.”
Scrapping the Tin Cups
You heard correct! The Carabao Cup and Community Shield are to be scrapped with immediate effect.
Clarke told the African Football Expert, “No one actually cares! The only team that ever cared about Carabao is Liverpool and that was when they were dog shite, now that they are good they don’t give a toss, like the rest of us.”
Mystery Bag
In the spirit of keeping things interesting, a mystery bag will be wheeled onto the pitch by a Make-a-Wish Foundation kid at random. Not all games will have a mystery bag, it will be up to the FA and VAR to send one out.
In the case of the bag being sent out, the first team captain to snatch the bag from the child and read the note, will gain the advantage of it’s contents.
The Football Association has short listed some benefits to the Mystery Bag to give us a taste of what is to come:
- Opposing team to play for 10 minutes without boots
- Pick a player to send off
- Swap score lines
- Award yourself a penalty (can not be used in a Power Play)
- Rugby tackles permitted on opposing team for 5 minutes (high tackles will however, result in a yellow card)
Only time will tell which proposals get passed, we would be lying if we said we wouldn’t like to see some of these proposals by the FA.
“The only team that ever cared about Carabao is Liverpool and that was when they were dog shite, now that they are good they don’t give a toss, like the rest of us.” – Clarke
