Liverpool defender Virgil van Dijk was on the receiving end of a horrific tackle made by Everton goalkeeper, Jordan Pickford, during Saturday’s Merseyside derby.
Pickford has unapologetically apologized for the incident and may have inadvertently landed himself a lucrative sponsorship with a famous cereal brand.
Sorry Not Sorry
Pickford told the African Football Expert, “Sorry… not sorry ‘ey, you know how it goes, it’s the derby, there are gonna be some wild tackles flyin’ abou’. I saw his juicy knee and I went for it! I got that tunnel vision! I do hope he recovers though… maybe after the return leg.”
Cap’n Crunch
The world echoing tackle, has caught the ear of the Quaker Oat’s Company CEO, Ramon Laguarta.
Mr. Laguarta has come out saying, “It was by chance I had the game on, I heard the crrrrunch! It was beautiful! I was thinking good Lord! Where have I heard that sound before? The Captain! Cap’n Crunch!”
The Quaker Oat’s businessman has plans to relaunch the pirate themed cereal by basing his marketing campaign on the entire Everton team.
He also went on to tell the African Football Expert, “Look at these dirty fellas. Lewin, Pickford, Richarlison, Walcott is it? They all look like rough and ready pirates! It couldn’t be more perfect! And this Ancelotti guy, I love his eye brow! He would make for an excellent captain!”
Quaker Oat’s has hinted they will not take no for an answer and will challenge current sponsor Angry Birds, if need be.
“Look at these dirty fellas. Lewin, Pickford, Richarlison… they all look like rough and ready pirates! It couldn’t be more perfect” – RL
